From Frustration to Innovation: Why I Created SANCE - Words from the Founder

It all started with high hopes

When I first ventured into the world of dating apps, I had high hopes. I was excited about the idea of meeting new people, finding a connection, and maybe even falling in love. And while I did make some great connections, the overall experience was far from what I had envisioned. The bad experiences stacked up quickly, leaving me disillusioned and frustrated.

Catfishing and other nightmares

One of the worst experiences I had was with catfishing. The most extreme case was when a man in his 50s pretended to be a 23-year-old girl. At the time, I was 25 and new to dating apps, unaware of the red flags to watch out for. Our conversations went on for three months before I realized the truth, and by then, I had already shared personal details—where I worked, what car I drove... and he even found my LinkedIn profile. The fear that followed was overwhelming. It wasn’t just embarrassing; it was a violation of trust and a stark realization of how unsafe online dating could be.

Beyond that, I encountered countless other disappointments: people who looked nothing like their pictures, the vibe being completely off in person, encounters with some truly unhinged individuals, and an endless stream of couples searching for threesomes. And of course, more catfishing. The cycle of swiping, texting for hours, getting ghosted, and seeing the same ten people pop up repeatedly made the whole process feel exhausting and pointless.

Nothing beats real-life connections

I realized something important: real-life connections were so much better. Seeing someone in person - the way they move, talk, smile - tells me infinitely more than a static profile picture ever could. But meeting people organically came with its own challenges. As a femme-presenting lesbian, I wasn’t often approached outside of LGBTQ+ spaces. And when I wanted to make the first move, I never knew for sure if the other person was queer. It was awkward, sometimes intimidating, and often ended in uncertainty rather than a connection.

Why "only" for LGBTQ+ singles?

That’s why I founded SANCE. I wanted to create a way for LGBTQ+ people to recognize and approach each other in real life without second-guessing or fearing an awkward rejection. Straight people often ask me, “Why is SANCE only for LGBTQ+ people? Why not for all singles?” And the answer is simple: they don’t experience the same struggles we do. In straight dating, interest is usually assumed unless stated otherwise. But for LGBTQ+ people, it’s not that simple. We don’t always know who is both queer and single, and that uncertainty stops so many potential connections before they even begin.

I understand that straight singles might want something like SANCE too, but I want to stay true to my community and focus on the unique challenges we face. As a lesbian, this is a problem that is personal to me, and I want to create a solution that truly serves LGBTQ+ individuals. If someone else wants to create a version for all singles, they absolutely should! But my mission with SANCE is to bring more love into the LGBTQ+ community by making it easier to meet and connect in the real world.

Thank you for reading my story!

SANCE is here to change how LGBTQ+ people find love, friendships, and real-world connections. No more endless swiping, ghosting, and uncertainty. Find your match in real life.